


Bustopher Jones and the Dastardly Dognapping Case

by AmethystLabyrinth



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Animals and people in peril, Detective Bustopher, Gen, Mystery, Quaxo and Mistoffelees are the same cat, Screwball, madcap, nothing to graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24783850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystLabyrinth/pseuds/AmethystLabyrinth
Summary: A series of events leads Bustopher Jones down the trail of a dastardly dognapper, will he with the assistance of his nephew Mr. Mistoffelees be able to save the case, while making sure none of the rest of Jellicle find out what they're up to?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. The Incident In The Park

**Author's Note:**

> Since I came up with the idea Bustopher being a detective, it's high time I wrote I story.

It all started when Bustopher Jones was taking his afternoon constitutional in St. James park in the company of Lady-Whats-Her-Face a beautiful Turkish Angora. They had been catching up on the latest gossip when Bustopher cried out “Everlasting Cat!” and ran right out into the street, there was the horrible sound of screeching car and Lady-What’s-Her-Face screamed.

* * *

Alonzo was on his patrol duty, patrolling the outskirts of the yard when he saw a Turkish Angora running towards him in obviously in distress.

“Oh, please! Oh please!” She wailed. “Is this the Jellilcle territory? I can never remember if it’s in a junk yard or an abandoned amusement park? Or maybe it was an abandon Opera house. Oh I’m in such a state I can’t think!”

“Um yes, Miss er M’am,” Alonzo said a little bewildered.

“Please is there cat called Quaxo here? Or maybe you know him Mr. Mistoffelees?”

“Yes, he’s here.”

“Oh thank the Everlasting Cat! I could never go to ether of his parents by myself. Please take me to him or bing him to me. One or the other, please it’s of the utmost importance!”

“Um why don’t you come with and wait in the visitors area and I’ll get him for you.”

Alonzo lead her to the little waiting area reserved for visiting none member of the tribe and called Plato over to keep her company and also an eye on her (one could never too carful) and went to fetch Mistoffelees.

He found him easy enough sitting on an old car pretending to ignore Tugger flirting with him, who was pretending to ignore Bomba and some of his fan club trying to get his attention, while Jennyanydots and Skimbleshanks were pretending to disapprove, but were really amused.

Tugger leaned over making sure that Bomba and the others had the best view of rear while he lazily traced a claw on Misto’s thigh.

“You really have wonderful thigh muscle,” Tugger sighed.

“So you’ve told me,” Mistoffelees said sounding unimpressed.

Befor Tugger could retort Alonzo jogged over. “Hey, Misto! There’s a visitor for you.”

“Oh?” He said hopping off the car and Tugger pouted.

“Yes, a queen,” Alonzo continued.

All ears perked up at this and Tugger walked over.

“Mother?” Mistoffelees wondered.

“Unless your mother is Turkish Angora, I don’t think so,” Replied Alonzo. “She seemed awfully upset.”

“Turkish Angora? Could it be Lady-Whats-Her-Face?” Mistoffelees mused. “Regardless you’d better take me to her.”

So Mistoffelees followed Alonzo and Tugger and the other followed him.

“Who’s this Lady whatever?” Tugger asked, he was not jealous, just curious Misto knowing someone he didn’t know was a very odd thing.

“She’s a friend of Uncle’s,” Mistoffelees expand as Jennyanydots frowned and Skimbles and the others looked intrigued.

Lady-Whats-Her-Face, paced back and fourth and wrung her paws muttering “Oh dear, oh dear.”

Plato looked on helpless and a little besotted, she reminded him of Victoria a little.

“Auntie,” Mistoffeeles said when the little group reach her and Plato. “Whatever is the matter?”

“Auntie?” Echoed the others, while Skimbles said. “She must be a very good friend of Bustopher’s indeed!” And Jennyanydot s frowned even deeper.

“Oh Quaxo! Quaxo! Quaxo! Dear boy,” Lady wailed when she caught sight of him. “Oh it’s so dreadful! It’s so awful! Oh how shall I tell your poor mother? How shall I face her? We must get your father, he’ll have to be strong for everyone! And your little brothers and sisters how shall it be explained to them?”

“Tell my mother what? Explain what?” Mistoffeles demand placing his paws on her shoulders. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, Quaxo, I-I think your Uncle Bustopher is dead!” She cried busting into tears and throwing herself into her arms nearing knocking him over onto the ground if Tugger hadn’t steadied him.

Bomba gasped, Skimbles swore, Jenny began to whimper, Plato bowed his head, Alonzo made the sigh of the Cat, Tugger squeezed Misto’s arm and the others too stunned to anything and Mistoffelees? Well he found himself more annoyed and angry at Lady-What’s-Her-Face then anything else. He almost half suspected she was enjoying all this.

He shook himself lose of Tugger who at this point was nearly cutting off his circulation in his arm, pulled himself to his full hight which wasn’t much, gently, but firmly eased Lady-What’s-Her-Face out of his arms, holding on to her shoulders, school his features into a no nonsense look his father often wore and spoke in commanding tone.

“Madam! Please calm down and tell me why you think Uncle Bustopher is dead?”

Lady blink away a few tears trying to collect herself, “Well we were at St. James park you see, when we saw a little human child in the street and a car was coming towards it and Bustopher, oh dear brave wonderful Bustopher! He ran into the street to push it out of the way!”

“And did the car hit or run over him?” Mistoffelees asked straining to keep his voice even. He would be brave.

“I don’t know!” She wailed once more. “I couldn’t bare to look! I just ran to find you.”

“I see,” Mistoffelees said feeling a little relived she didn’t know for sure, so there was still hope that he may be alive. “Can you take me to where it happen?”

Her eyes went wide, “Oh I couldn’t! If he really is…to see him like that and if the child was also…”

“I understand,” Mistoffelees said. “You stay here Jenny and Bomba will look after you. Won’t you?”

“Of course,” Bomba assured him gingerly putting her around the Turkish Angora’ shoulders.

“But, if Bustopher is hurt, he’ll need me!” Jennyanydot protested. “I’m no Jellylourm, but I do know I bit of healing as well.”

In a crisp cool tone Mistoffelees relied. “If my Uncle is hurt, then a vet is who he’ll need. No offense, but they can do more for him. Now please stay here!”

The Gumbie solemnly nodded.

“I’m coming with you,” Skimbleshanks spoke firmly.

“No,” Mistoffelees answered equally firmly.

“But he’s my best friend!” Skimbles cried desperately. “I have a right to know if he’s…”

“I need you to stay here and keep looters away from Bustopher’s den,” Mistoffelees interrupted him.

The Railway Cat’s eyes went wide. “Merciful Heaviside Layer!” He shouted taking off in the directionof Bustopher’s den. “If I catch anyone taking anything from Bustopher’s den I’ll hung you up by your tail! And that means you two as well Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer!”

“I’ll get Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy,” Volunteered Alonzo.

“Well I don’t see what Munkustrap can do, but Old Deuteronomy may be of some comfort should we need it, but for the Everlasting Cat’s sake don’t them he’s dead, just tell them my Uncle may have in been an accident.”

“Right!” Alonzo affirmed before taking off.

After getting directions from Lady-What’s-Her-Face Mistoffelees went on his way with Tugger at his heels.

“Tugger…”Mistoffelees began.

“I am coming with you, _you_ may need _me_!” Tugger told him in a tone that would not take no for an answer.

“Do as you will do,” Mistoffelees said crisply.

And Tugger wisely said nothing else.

Bustopher Jones was not dead, far from it. A little scratched and bruised, but in all respects alive.


	2. What Happened to Bustopher Jone

What had happen was this, when walking with his Lady friend he had seen the child who could not have been older then two or three years had wandered into the street into the path of an on coming car and Bustopher simply could stand by and do nothing, so he rushed into the street and knocked the child down. Had he been a dog, a big dog mind you, he would had been able to push or pull the child out of harms way, but being a cat, even if he was large fat cat it didn’t exactly work out that way.

Be it luck, fate, The Everlasting Cat and other deities smiling down on them, but when the child fell she landed in such a way that the car somehow was able to pass harmlessly over her and as for Bustopher after knocking the child down had keep going by rolling out of the way, his tail I’m sorry to report got a little clipped but not by much and he suffered some ‘road rash’.

The car stopped and diver jump out screaming and crying at thought of stuck and or killed the child. A crowd had now gathered and rushed over to the child, with a policeman in lead who had witnessed it as well.

The child now was beginning to pulling herself up when the policeman reached her, she too was scraped and bruised and crying.

“She’s alive!” The Policeman yelled happily picking her up. “She’s not even hurt that bad!”

“It’s miracle!” The people shouted with relief and joy.

“It was that fat cat!” Someone yelled from across the street making their way over as Bustopher was picking himself up and shaking out. “And I’ve got a photo to prove it!”

While the humans where fussing about, Bustopher made his way over the child who now sitting on the curb still crying while the policeman was trying to clam her down.

(There, there,) Bustopher meowed at her. (Danger’s over, you are quit safe now,) He rubbed his cheek against her and purred to clam her.

“Pretty Pat,” The child said petting Bustopher and meaning kitty cat. “Nanny hurt!”

“Is that your name?” The Policeman asked her.

“Bad man hurt Nanny!” The child cried. “Took Poppet away!”

“Now, now no one’s going to hurt you,” The Policeman said trying to clam her.

 _‘An assault and kidnapping!'_ Bustopher thought with alarm. ‘ _And this Bobbie is a more of a booby than competent copper! I must take charge!We must find the victim.’_

(Alright, take Uncle to Nanny,) Bustopher meowed at the child in tone he often used with his nieces and nephews and turned his head slightly towards the direction she came from.

The little girl seemed to understand as she got up and began to toddle away with Bustopher and Policeman blowing his whistle for her to stop at her heels.

It was in the bushes near the lake that they found a woman lying unconscious on the ground, there was a bruise forming on her face where the assailant hit her no doubt, the one her temples was slightly blooded having struck it one the side of a rock when she fall. But what stood out to Bustopher the most was she appeared to have a fresh rope burn on the palm of her hand, what could have made that? Bustopher wondered, then he recalled the child’s words ‘Took Poppet away’ Could this Poppet have been a dog? If so then that rope burn be from a lash being violently pulled out her hand.

 _‘A dog napping ay?_ Bustopher mused _'Now this case will be interesting.’_

* * *

It would not do, Mistoffelees thought as he and Tugger made there way to the park, to have what happened to his Uncle be made a spectacle of with the tribe coming with him to see. Jennyanydots weeping and wailing should he be... or needless fussing all over him…and Skimbleshanks he would mostly likely try to take charge and wouldn’t let him near his uncle no matter what state he was in and if it was bad, Skimbles would insisted on telling his mother what and upset her! And the others they just gawk at whatever sight there was to be seen and be no help at all and Bomba would like probably just do some sexy song and dance about death.

Yes it would not do! It was in his job being as neither of his parents where about and he was the oldest of his siblings to take charge.

As for Tugger, well Mistoffelees highly doubted he would need Tugger for morale support, since he was sure his Uncle wouldn’t dead regardless of what he was thinking before, he would know if his Uncle was dead, he was sensitive about the spirit world and besides it was most likely a big misunderstand Lady-What’s-Her-Face was mostly like confused, she was getting older. And there probably wasn’t even a child or car. It was probably a bunny in the path of a bicycle that his Uncle was intending to hunt.

When they got to the park there was a crowd had gathered by an ambulance and Mistoffelees’s stomach be again to turn. It most have been something he ate or drink. Perhaps the milk he drunk was curdling in his stomach.

He knew what an ambulance was and what it meant, someone was hurt, but people often got hurt in the park, the ambulance didn’t necessarily have anything to do with his Uncle.

“Are we talking the cat with us?” Ask an ambulance attendant.

Mistoffelees paw pads began to sweat.

“I suppose we better,” The other attendant said.

Mistoffelees walk closer the ambulance Tugger be his side and looked up bracing himself for the worst excepting to his beloved uncle lying on his side, broken, bleeding.

Bustopher Jones was sitting up on a gurney being petting by a child and happily eating cheese sticks that the child was feeding him from her little backpack without a care in the world.

Mistoffelees’s jaw dropped, Tugger’s jaw dropped, they turned and looked at each other gapping.

“Uncle!” Mistoffelees finally cried indignantly, here he was trying to brave and strong when there was no need.

“Oh hello,” Bustopher said looking down at them. “What are you two doing here?”

“What-are…what we doing here?” Mistoffelees asked suddenly angry. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be dead!”

“Well now, I say!” Bustopher cried bewildered.

“Yeah!” Added Tugger. “Lady-Whoever-She-Was came running into the junkyard saying you had been run over by car!”

“Good Heaviside!” Bustopher heaved. “In the excitement I forgot all about her! So that’s where she ran off too, eh? Well you better go back and tell Lady-What’s-Her-Face and the others I’m not dead, tell them I’m fine.”

“Of course you’re fine!” Mistoffelees replied crossly. “If you’re eating, you’re fine,” He grumbled.

“Everlasting Cat!” Bustopher exclaimed suddenly. “Your mother!” He said to Mistoffelees. “You didn’t tell her I was dead did you?”

“Of course not, you think I want to upset her needlessly?”

“Good lad, don’t tell her a thing, I’ll visit her tomorrow and tell her what happen and that goes for the tribe as well,” He told them.

“Well why don’t you jump down that bed thing,” Tugger said. “And come back with us.”

“Oh, well I can’t do that,” Bustopher said.

“Why, not?” Asked Mistoffelees becoming more and more annoyed.

“Why not?” Bustopher repeated stalling. "He had to stay, he hadn't heard all the facts yet."

Perhaps I should have mentions this from the first you see Bustopher Jones, Cat About Town, gourmet connoisseur, and everyones favorite uncle was also a detective an amateur gentleman detective. Only his immediate family knew of course while the tribe was ignorant and Bustopher planned to keep it that way. And had Mistoffelees been there alone Bustopher would have readily tell Mistoffelees all about the dognapping case, but with Tugger there he needed to think up a good excuse.

“Why, not?” He said again. “Why umbecause I need to stay and calm the child! Yes poor little thing, she had quite a fright.”

“Pretty Pat,” The child said feeding Bustopher another cheese stick.

“See?” He said after eating it. “Well toodle-pip!” Bustopher said as the attendant began to close the door. “Tell you later what’s it all about! I mean I’ll tell you all about it later!” Yelled hoping Mistoffelees would catch his word slip up and that Tugger wouldn’t.


End file.
